Sally Brampton (Oct 07)

Saturday, 02 April 2011 02:28
October 28, 2007 The Sunday Times Aunt Sally I’m in love with and engaged to a beautiful woman. We met 18 months ago and have madea huge joint financial commitment in a house. She is a very driven high achiever who hasbeen battling an anorexia/bulimia problem for the past 10 years, and she is verycontrolling. Since we moved in together, we have had the most dramatic and unsettlingarguments, which develop over trivial things, and she becomes violent. I have offered togo for joint counselling, but she refuses help, makes excuses (which makes me wonder ifshe is in denial), and accuses me of trying to control her. She has no close friends andfeels that her family detach themselves. I’m not perfect, but I try endlessly to please her. Anything she asks for, she gets. She keeps the house in pristine condition. I put forwardmost of the money, but I’m not allowed (and don’t dare) to wear shoes indoors or to makea mess. With her food and cleaning issues, I never eat at home. We are getting marriednext year and want to start a family, but I cannot bring children into such a stressfulenvironment. I would be grateful for any suggestions. It…

Fathers and Daughters (Apr 07)

Saturday, 02 April 2011 02:28
Fathers and Daughters Published in The Times, 26 April 2007   Is it significant that many of the women who succeeded in a man’s world had in their childhood a strong relationship with their father? Alfred Roberts was highly regarded in his home town of Grantham but his greatest claim to fame proved to be that he was the father of Margaret Thatcher. Hugh Rodham will be even more famous than Alfred Roberts if his daughter Hillary Rodham Clinton becomes President of the United States. Pandit Jawarharlal Nehru was undoubtedly famous in his own right as the first prime minister of India, but so was his daughter Indira Gandhi, the third prime minister. When William Edward Nightingale taught his daughter mathematics he did not expect that Florence would not only turn nursing into a profession but that she would become a remarkable statistician who, amongst other achievements, pioneered the visual presentation of statistics which is now so much part of our lives. It seems that in a close intellectual relationship with her father a girl can get something which she cannot get from her mother, particularly if the mother has concentrated her efforts on domesticity and motherhood.   These relationships…